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November 22, 2011 / chubchased

Maui Wowie

I finally had a chance to take my wife to Maui last week.  Since we have so much in common, I think I will return every year, like the Humpback whales.  Fortunately, Lahaina is a former whaling town or else you may have never read another post on this blog….

The wife and I were cruising the mean streets of Lahaina, on the prowl for something decent to break our fast.  We had been referred to Captain Jack’s as a good place, so we popped in and decided to give it a try.  After seating us and getting us our waters, the hostess relinquished our care to her compatriot, a spritely little vixen in her early twenties with platinum blond hair, tattoos, piercings, heavy eye makeup and enormous pale blue eyes.  She was gorgeous.

Being on vacation, I find nothing wrong with imbibing in a couple of beers with breakfast, so I ordered one beer with my breakfast and another half-way through.  Her eyes were so big she looked surprised when you asked her a question when I asked for another beer, for a moment I thought she had mistaken my request for swapping out my current beer.  Nothing could be further from the truth – I wanted an additional beer, baby, not a replacement.  Even still, there was a reluctance on her part in tearing her eyes away from mine – she seemed transfixed, mesmerized even.  She kept making excuses to come over to our table (i.e., more water, the bill, etc.)- I recognized her ploys as the actions of an accomplished Chub Chaser.

When she brought my card back with the bill, she dropped the bomb on us.  “I love how much you two laugh – that’s so cool.  If I were to ever get married, it would be to a guy like you.  A lot of guys hit on me and I’m like ‘whatever’ but somebody like you is what I’m looking for.”

Maui is a beautiful place in general, but this was a pristine moment for the Chased among us.

Scientific Observation: The Female Chub Chaser can be more aggressive in tropical climates.  Also, she is in no way intimidated by competition; in fact, she seems to thrive off it.



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