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October 3, 2011 / chubchased

Nature vs. Nurture

***Disclaimer: no chubs were actually chased in this encounter***

Paydays are a big day in our household, for they signify one of the two days every month that we allow our spawn to eat McDonald’s (no sense in breeding more chubs, if we can help it).  This past Friday was no exception and based on schedules, if fell upon me to bring home the trophies of saturated fat and overwhelming sodium.  On this particular occasion, the drive-through line was an unmitigated cluster-fuck, with soccer moms allowing other mini-vans to cut ahead of them in line two at a time.  I didn’t have time for this non-sense: I had garbage food to get for the chirrens so I could go on the with the rest of my evening.  Also, the people in the drive-though inevitably screw our order up in at least one way everytime we go, so it was likely I’d need to saunter out of my car and go inside anyway. 

The trip inside was uneventful: a madhouse of jumping, screaming kids everywhere you looked, “supervised” by inattentive parents and McEmployees who spoke marginal English at best.  I grabbed my bags of “food” and walked out the door, happy to be free of the chaos.  As I’m walking into the parking lot, I see two little girls I’m speculating as aged 5 and 6.  They’re singing two different songs, dancing two different dances until the younger cuts in and says “I smell fries!”  Clearly, she was the brains of the operation.  I smile as I walk by as they reminded me a lot of my own daughters; their mother returns my smile, proud that someone else recognizes what she sees on a daily basis.  I’m almost in my car and this little gaggle of females has just walked into one of the side doors when the mom opened the door again, poked her head out and in an Australian accent asked:

“Did you hear that?” 

“No” I say.

“She said ‘He’s quite handsome, isn’t he?'” the mom said, smiling and giggling.

“Tell her thank you!” I said.

Scientific Observation: It would appear that even when too young to be a  bona fide chaser (indeed, too young to even consider chasing or have any idea what it means), some youngsters exhibit behavior that could be interpreted as a keen Female Chub Chaser instinct.  This leads to perplexing question: is it nature or nurture?  Did mom give this youngster the genes to appreciate portly beauty – or did mom imbue in her child a deep appreciate for chubs by her comments and wandering eye around her child?  Further research is necessary….

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One Comment

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  1. Whit / Oct 10 2011 3:21 am

    They probably sit in the parking lot every evening. Trolling. You know what I’m talking about.

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